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Wrestling with God

Writer's picture: Rachael StanleyRachael Stanley

In Genesis 32, Jacob wrestles with God. I know this is written in a physical (but maybe not literal) sense, but I can’t help but think we often encounter the same situation with Him. Just as children often wrestle (metaphorically) with their parents, we find ourselves in that position with our Heavenly Father.

 

Our will vs. His.

Our desires vs. His.

Our wants vs. His.

 

v. 24 This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break.

v.28b ”From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”

v. 30b “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.”

 

When I read this story, it wasn’t clear why Jacob had to wrestle with God. After doing some research, here is what I’ve gathered:

  • Jacob was seeking a blessing from God before he met with his brother Esau, who did not have good intentions or history with Jacob.

  • Jacob was desperate for this plea to be heard and answered by God, therefore leading to the wrestling.

  • It’s a symbolic struggle. It demonstrates the internal battle that Jacob was facing in confronting His past, accepting God’s forgiveness, and moving forward even though he did not know the outcome.

  • His new identity as “Israel” shows that he actively sought and obtained God’s favor.

 

Wrestling Match
Jacob wrestling with God

Sometimes, we talk about Christianity like a walk in the park. We can give off the impression that trusting God means we won’t struggle or question things at times. I remember experiencing this when I was going through a breakup that I felt was led by God for reasons beyond my own knowledge. I was obedient and did what I felt God was leading me to do, but I didn’t want to do it at first. I struggled with the decision for months. I went back and forth, praying and upset with God because I couldn’t see a good reason for this self-inflicted heartache. This was a moment when I truly understood what it felt like to wrestle with God. I even remember asking myself, “What if I just did what I desired to anyway? Even though it’s not what God wants…It’s not a sin, so maybe it’ll be, okay?”

 

I had a lovely friend point out that while that may be true…it would be God’s PERMISSIVE will, not His perfect will. Is He going to strike me down with lightning because of it? Likely not. But would it be good and pleasing and perfect in His eyes? No. It could block other blessings God wanted to give me, too.

 

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. I can look back now and see why the relationship wouldn’t have worked out long-term, and I believe God had someone more compatible for both of us. It’s funny how we can look back sometimes and thank God for unanswered prayers.

 

I can also look back and see the hard lessons learned and my proximity to God growing through that situation. People often say that the valley is where you meet God. I would agree with that. We forget that we need Him when life is easy and simple. In those heartaches and confusing times, we learn to rely on Him because He is all we have.

 

He Needed a Sign

Another story in the Bible that has always stuck with me is the story of Gideon in Judges 6. The Lord wanted Gideon to do something that seemed impossible, and like many of us, Gideon had questions.

 

Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!” “But Lord,” Gideon replied, “how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!” The Lord said to him, I will be with you. And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.” Gideon replied, “If you are truly going to help me, show me a sign to prove that it is really the Lord speaking to me. Don’t go away until I come back and bring my offering to you.” (Judges 6:14-18)

 

The story goes on, and Gideon asks for some specifics. Verse 36-37 says, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.”


And God did it.                                                                                                                              

 

Now, I’m not saying we should approach God with a list of tricks for Him to perform to prove Himself to us. He doesn’t have to prove anything. However, I think it is okay for us to ask God for confirmation. He may not confirm in the way we hope, but He will not leave us in the dark, full of confusion.

 

In my breakup, where I wrestled with God, I knew what God was telling me, but I needed it confirmed. When it comes to matters of the heart, we don’t always see clearly. I needed a direct message from the Lord to know I was on the right track. To reaffirm that I had made the right decision. To encourage me not to look back or try to undo what had been done as I followed His will.

 

Trusting Him

If you’re in a season of wrestling with God, know that you’re not alone. Wrestling with hard parts of the Christian walk does not make you less of a Christian. We are flawed and imperfect people who serve a mighty and perfect God. We often forget that while we only see a tunnel vision of what’s happening in our lives, God sees the whole scope. He sees far beyond what we can even imagine. We must trust that His reasons are good, even if we can’t understand them amid our heartache, insecurity, or confusion.

 

Many might ask, “How can we trust that His reasons are good?”

 

  • Quiet time with God. Spend time with God in intimate prayer. When you pray, don’t just ask Him for a list of things. Align yourself with His will and His plans. Thank Him for His goodness in your life. Pray for those who don’t know Him. Talk to Him like a friend about your concerns and worries. Ask for forgiveness and repent for your sins. Then, ask Him for help where you’re struggling and for him to provide what you need. He listens, and He cares.

 

  • Keep a prayer journal. For me, it helps to think back over situations where God has been faithful in my life. If He was faithful then, He’ll be faithful now. Keeping a prayer journal is a good way to look back and see the prayers God answered, or even those He didn’t answer that turned out differently but better.

 

  • Study your Bible. Reading the Bible is essential to learning to love and trust God. You can see examples of His goodness throughout the Bible. Even if all the details are not clear, we can see His character shining through situations where He moved in the stories we read, like with Jacob and Gideon. If you’re looking for a Bible study to do with others in an online setting, A Life for Christ has opportunities that may interest you! You can check them out here: https://www.alifeforchrist.org/bible-study-groups

 

  • Share your story and listen to others share theirs. Hearing other people's testimonies and how God showed up in their lives and displayed His goodness can be encouraging and inspiring. Maybe someone needs to hear your story, too.  

 

  • Keep the faith. We have put our faith in Him to save us from our sins. We must also have enough faith to trust that He is who He says He is and is working in our lives for the good. Even when we can’t see or fully understand what God is doing at the moment.

 

My prayer for you is that you will be able to walk boldly into the things God has called you to do or to walk away from. That even if you wrestle or seek confirmation, you will know deep in your soul that we serve a good God, and He will never leave us alone as we take the steps that seem the scariest.

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Rachael, this was a great encouragement to me today. I especially connected with the bit about God’s permissive vs. perfect will… that was edifying. Thanks sister!

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