To the Teen Who Feels Lost: A Letter to My Younger Self

There’s this trend on social media right now: “I had coffee with my younger self today.” It’s tender and reflective, showing the present self encouraging their younger self. So I thought, what might I say to the teenage girl I used to be?

I think about this sometimes, though I try not to dwell on it. I have a long and rough past. I spent 9 years running from God, and several years before that, feeling insecure and lost.

I remember what it felt like to be in high school. Completely unsure of who I was or wanted to be. So to the teen who feels lost, or the adult who wishes they could reclaim lost years, here’s a letter to my younger self, and maybe it’s a letter to you, too.

Dear Younger Me,

I’m unsure how to start this letter, but I’m you in the future. I’m 32 years old now, and life is not quite what I thought it would be. As an adult, I can tell you that I am still a little unsure of what I want to do with my life. You would think I'd have it all figured out by now, but surprisingly enough, you don’t finally receive the secret instruction manual to life once you turn thirty.

You’re probably 15, and life may feel like it’s shattering a bit. The first time you experience real hurt, it can feel that way. I want to let you know that you will survive and eventually thrive. You’re going to face heartbreaks. You’re going to lose friends. You’ll change your career path more times than you can imagine. But you will eventually find your way.

I've made many mistakes over the years, but I don’t look back on life full of regret. God has redeemed so much that seemed lost, including me. If I hadn’t been through some of the experiences I’ve been through, I wouldn’t be where I am today or have the knowledge or ministry opportunities that I do now.

But if I could go back… I would genuinely develop a relationship with God and seek Him sooner. That is the one thing I would change.

So let me leave you with this plea—this one piece of advice.

Follow. God. Now.

Dig deep and learn more about Him. Learn why God sent Jesus and what Jesus did for us on the cross. Embrace the love He’s been trying to fill you with for years. Ask questions and genuinely talk to God in prayer.

Don’t just rely on Grandma and Papa to tell you right from wrong; discover it yourself. The Bible is so much more than a “rule book,” and God is so much more than a “wrathful rule-maker” who is ready to punish us if we sin. We've been very mistaken about Him in the past…But He is there. Waiting for you to turn to Him. To love Him.

Me at 15: unsure of who I was or who I would become

I know we’ve had a very casual relationship with our faith until now, and I get it. As a teenager, it’s hard to lean into living for God. Sometimes, it may feel like the last thing you want to do, but it will be one of the most important things you do.

“What do you mean I have to give up things that I love because they’re sinful or don’t honor God?”

“What do you mean I have to do more than say I’m a Christian and attend church on Sunday?”

I know, okay. Trust me, I’ve been there.

It can feel like a chore to be faithful. To read your Bible. To actually think about God outside of church. But I also know you will begin seeking that relationship in other, more dangerous places. I know you long for and desire to feel wholly loved and seen. I know this search for love in all the wrong places will lead you farther from God than you ever wanted.

There’s a popular saying that goes, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.” I have found this to be incredibly accurate.

So I’m asking you to turn to Him instead.

Life will tempt you, and before you know it, you’ll be doing and thinking things you never thought you would. It will try to pull you under with sins that look good on the surface. With peer pressure from people who are supposed to be your friends.

Don’t let it.

Start building your relationship with Him now. He's not a strict rule-maker out to ruin your fun. I know that some things we’ve been taught, or have heard, can make it seem that way. But that’s not the truth of who He is. He’s a Father who longs to fill your life with love, joy, and freedom.

He truly, deeply loves you. Every bit of you. Even the parts of yourself that YOU don’t love yet. He’s the only thing that will remain steadfast throughout your entire life. People are going to disappoint you and fail you. He never does, and He never will.

Me at 32: free, found, and walking with God

I know sometimes you feel lonely and insecure. Unlovable and ugly. Unseen and undervalued. And it’s because we put our identity and worth in what other people think of us, when God already has the final say in who we are. He says we are beautiful, cherished, and beloved. Lean into that.

I’ll stop there because I’m not trying to get all preachy on you. I know we probably wouldn’t like that. But I hope you’ll hear what I’m saying and open up your Bible. I recommend starting in Matthew because that’s our favorite book of the Bible, but John is an excellent place to start, too.

I know my teenage self doesn’t want to hear how to live life from an adult. But hindsight is truly 20/20. I don’t know everything, but I’ve learned a lot. Truly following God has been my best decision, and I’m only remorseful that I lost precious years I could’ve been growing with Him. I don’t want you to miss those if you don’t have to.

I love you, and God loves you. Give yourself grace as you grow, and take the hand He's reaching out to you.

Sincerely,

You, From the Future

And maybe you’re reading this not as my younger self, but as a teen or young adult who feels a little lost, too. If that’s you, I want you to know: you're not too far gone. It’s not too late. God sees you right now, in this very moment. And He’s not angry or disappointed. He’s reaching toward you with love.

So wipe the dust off your Bible. Have a heart-to-heart with Him. Find someone to talk to who can help guide you along your path. You are not alone.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)